Because My Head is Overflowing

My mind isn't getting any rest. I get this creative surge in me and I can't stop doing whatever it is I am into at the time until I feel satiated. Because of this, I spent the last two days coming up with almost 2 months worth of blogging ideas. Now that I have these ideas, I want to implement them as soon as I can. It is literally driving me nuts, can we say O.C.D? The positive thing is, at least I'll have two months worth of blogs ready to post everyday. The bad thing is, there are days like today where I may do a couple of posts just to get that feeling of accomplishment I need. I apologize in advance. You've been warned...

Things That I Do That Annoy Mr. Husband

For the follow-up post, I figured it'd only be fair that I do one on the things I do to annoy Mr. Husband. And I'm sure that even with the ones I post now, he will add to this list in his own smart-ass way.

Things I've Learned As I Approach My Big 40

These past few years have brought on many revelations that I thought hoped would never be part of my life. As I approach my 40th (this December), I am sad to report that these have snuck (is this a word?) crept slowly into my life and I didn't even notice. Certainly, if I had noticed, I would've put my foot down firmly and not allowed it to happen. Yeah right...

A Love Letter

Dear Mr. Husband,

  I love you dearly. I am sorry you are bored, you have no games to play out of the bazillion you own, there is nothing on tv, and nothing to do. I am also sorry you aren't feeling well, but I am sure that you do not have malaria, lyme disease, west nile virus, or any other wild disease you can come up with. Pretty sure fishing in the heat yesterday had something to do it, and the fact that you are feeling down. With this being said, I love you honey. You are my world.

Love ~ Mrs. You

Pet Peeve Mondays

Seeing that Mondays irritate most of us on a regular basic, I thought this would be a good weekly blog for things that set me/us off.

My biggest pet peeves, in no particular order of course...

A Love Letter

Dear Mr. Husband,

  I thought this might be a nice way of letting you see that even when you aren't here next to me, you are on my mind. You are fishing with Mathew right now and it's the first time since the wedding we have really done something apart. I hope you are having a good time and I hope you catch lots of fish! Maybe your luck will change without me being there. Let's see what ya got Mr. Fisherman! I love you, and I am so glad you picked me. You are my everything.

Love, Mrs. You

My Daddy

To start off, so there is no confusion to those who don’t really know my story, I was raised by my grandparents. They took us kids when I was 5. So to me, they are mom and dad. And this past week, I found out that contrary to what everyone thought, they were not our guardians, they had legally adopted us. So that makes it even more so that they are my mom and dad. And this was a shocker to me. They told us that they had told us when we were little but I assume that somehow I blocked knowing this. I was a damaged kid when they took us, right from the start. The abuse inflicted on my siblings and I had scarred me. My brother and sister were too young to remember, but I remember it all very well. And I remember things that my mom confirmed to be true. So in my dad’s passing, I found some sort of peace and closure as well.

It was a very rough week for my brother, sister and I. We all had different memories of daddy and our own individual stories with him.  And just being with him in those days, no matter how hard it was to see him like that, I wouldn’t of wanted it any other way.  Before his rapid decline, I knew that briefly, he was there with us. He squeezed my hand at my request, and there would be times that one of us would be telling a story, and even though he wasn’t awake, tears would run down his face.  

As the week got later, and he started to decline, his responses became less and less and we were told to watch what we said around him as he could still hear us. And before I boarded my plane to come home, I requested time with my brother and sister and him. I really felt that as the oldest of us three, I needed to step up and tell him that it was okay to let go. That we were all there, and Mom wouldn’t be alone. I let him know that he raised us well, and that even after my struggles, I had gotten my life straightened out and we would do what needed to be done. I let him know that I wasn’t going to say goodbye when it was time for me to go, but rather that I would see him later. And I stuck to that as I left for the airport, I hugged him, kissed his forehead, and told him to remember what I told him, that it was okay to let go, and that I would see him later.  I hugged my mom, promised her that it wouldn’t be that long until I saw her again and told her I loved her as well.  I left in tears.  I cried all the way to Houston, and then all the way back to California. And when I landed, I got a phone call saying he had passed…

I have since then struggled with my emotions. I wish I could have been there to see him go. And I really wish that I had made an effort to see him sooner. But what’s done is done and I know that he’s no longer in pain. Does that help with the pain of his passing? Not at all. Especially with my wedding coming up. I really wanted them to meet John and to see me get married. If they had made it to the wedding, I was going to ask him to walk me down the aisle. And now, he’s gone.

Life is short people. So I am going to close this with my facebook status from Tuesday…Hold tight to your most precious joys. Make memories, Laugh a lot, and Love more. Never take life for granted, and Open your eyes to the things you have in front of you and remember that it could all be gone in the blink of an eye…