So to start off, things have been pretty hectic. Doctors appointments, changes/little upgrades to the house, mom working full time again, me not working at all, bone density tests, mri's, dentists...it's been hella hectic. I wanted to also throw in an update, I saw my neurologist, and he did he hand test on me, and stuck needles in my arms, and ruled out carpal tunnel totally. A little odd to me seeing that I am a pc gamer and my right arm gets overused a bit. So for unknown reasons, I still have no feelings in my fingertips on the right hand, and a torn right rotator cuff. I've developed a tic in my mouth and the side of my eye and for no reason at all, I will start doing these odd facial things, I also keep losing feeling in my left arm and hand, and sometimes numbness in my left leg. And the muscle spasms are getting worse, especially the ones in my calves and between my shoulder blades. My doctor still has me on Norcos and Flexiril, same dosage, every month. The doctors are trying to rule out the rare brain disease, they are all leaning towards MS. My blood work is all good, according to my primary, and he was surprised when I told him I hadn't taken any medications other than my pain management and weed for the last 10 months. He says if it turns out to be MS, I may end up being a case study. I have a lot of shit wrong with me for only being 45. The kids are still residing here, but hopefully only for another month, we will see. Is that everything? I think so, but eh, I'm high so yeah...
Sunday, July 30, 2017
Tuesday, May 16, 2017
When I Look at You...Dear Mr. Hubby
I heard this today, and it seemed so fitting for how I am feeling right now.
Dear Mr. Hubby,
Our lives, right now, seem to be falling down around us. I know you are hurting, I know you are sad. I know there is nothing I can do but be here for you. But they say, everything happens for a reason, when one door closes, another opens, etcetera. When you are at your darkest, please know, that I need you and can't imagine one single day without you in my life. I don't ever want there to be a time where I have to live without you in my life. You made me realize there are good and decent men out there, and you helped me change for the better, at least I think so. And when it comes down to it, that is all that matters. You get me, I get you, I would never try to change the quirky person you are. I don't love you for what you can or can't do for me, I love you simply because of the person you are. I love you because with you, I can be just me.
The house falling apart, bills piling up, animals driving us nuts, mom in her moods...all of this will pass. We have gotten through this for all these years, we are going to get through this time too. When we got together, you knew I had Crohn's. Now we are slowly finding out that there is so much more wrong with my health. The situation is not funny, I know, but the little jokes about finding me someone to wipe my ass when that time comes, even though they are just that, jokes, somewhere inside, I know you are here for me. I have been lost in my own thoughts lately, and at some point, while I hope it never comes to this, if you ever feel that it is too much for you to handle, I would understand. I cry as I write this because just the thought of that hurts me so much, but I would understand and deal with it. But then somewhere deep down, something pulls me back and reassures me that you are not going anywhere.
You are so much more to me than I think you know. You are my laughter, you are my smiles, you are my heart...and I love you so much that I can't just simply write it out because there are not enough words in our language to properly express how much I do love you. If I could take away your pain, hurt and sadness, I would at the drop of a hat. To think of you hurting hurts me. It has to get better at some point, right? I know I keep saying it, but in saying it, then I believe it. And we all need something to believe in. And I believe, in my heart of hearts, that this will all pass, and we will find the happiness that you deserve. I want you to know, that no matter what I am behind you 150% times infinity. No matter where our journey takes us, I am always here for you. I love you Mr. Hubby...
Your wifey
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Shit Mr. (stoned) Hubby says...
So yeah, here I am. Hi guys!! How are ya? We are adding a new series to this blog, besides just "Shit Mr. Hubby Says...we are going to do a separate one for a stoned Mr. Hubby. A stoned Mr. H is even more hilarious than a sober one. I'll be honest, I have missed some really good conversations with him because I am forever misplacing my voice recorder. So now, I stick it in my purse, because at some point everything ends up in there anyways, but that's another blog...
30 Day Challenge
- Your current relationship. Explain how your life feels in your relationship.
- Where you'd like to be in 10 years.
- Your views on drugs and alcohol
- Your views on religion
- A time you thought about ending your own life.
- Write 30 interesting facts about yourself
- Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.
- A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.
- How you hope your future will be like
- Discuss your first love and kiss
- Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up
- Bullet your whole day
- Somewhere you'd like to move or visit
- Your earliest memory
- Your favorite tumblrs
- Your views on mainstream music
- Your highs and lows this year
- Your beliefs
- Disrespecting your parents
- How important do you think education is
- One of your favorite shows
- How have you changed in the past two years
- Give pictures of 5 guys who are famous who you find attractive
- Your favorite movie and what it's about
- Someone who fascinates you and why
- What kind of person attracts you
- A problem that you have had
- Something that you miss
- Goals for the next 30 days
- Your highs and lows of this month
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