Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays

  It's 3:58 am and I had to get up to take a pain pill...ugh. I know better than to eat before bed but I was just so damn hungry, I couldn't help it and now I am paying for it. Wanted to wish all my friends and family a very Merry Christmas, I hope you all have safe travels and the best Christmas ever! Since I am up for a few, I thought I'd do a quick post seeing that it's officially my 44th birthday today and I have a words of wisdom/advice to share with the younger ones out there. Some amusing, some serious, but still words to live by...


  Once you hit this age, your body is changing, going from child bearing years to "if I became pregnant now, I would probably shoot myself because I like my free time, I like what sanity I have, and I LOVE my sleep." At 44, I do not have it in me to start over and do stuff like dirty diapers, late night feedings (don't pay attention to what time I began writing this), or this Elf on a Shelf BS. Anyways, at this age, your body starts going through a change, With those changes come other "changes." What I am trying to get at is, never trust a sneeze, guaranteed you will piss yourself at some point, if not many times. Even worse than that however is to never, ever trust a fart. I have Crohn's Disease, one can not be too careful! Now, to be honest, I have yet to have this one happen to me yet, and I plan on it not happening anytime in the near future. That being said, if I feel like I am going to do something big, I will excuse myself and go to the bathroom. And normally, I am in correct in that choice. If I hadn't of been in the bathroom when it happened, I would've done a lot of yelling and had to explain what happened to Mr. Husband and trust me when I say he would NEVER let me live that down. Lesson here is don't trust a sneeze or fart...ever!  

  This one I learned at a young age, and I am not sure if I have shared it before but in case I haven't, here goes...when I was just a wee lass, my mom and I were fighting (which was nothing out of the norm) and this particular fight was about dessert. I could understand why she didn't want me to have any sugar, fine. But, she also denied me an orange. Who denies their children fruit when they ask for it?? So I took it upon myself to sneak an orange up my staircase to my room. I peeled it, and started eating it, and as I swallowed a piece, my mom came to the bottom of the stairs and yelled for me. I panicked and shoved half a orange in my mouth and swallowed...and then it became lodged and I choked. As she was yelling for me, I came stumbling down the stairs, turning blue and she freaked out and started hitting me on the back to dislodge whatever it was I was choking on. Obviously I lived as I am writing this. But once it became un-lodged (pretty sure that's not a word, but it is on a painkiller so ha!) dislodged...there we go, she didn't know whether to hug me or beat me. First she spanked me, then she hugged me, then she yelled at me, and I was grounded. So yeah, lesson is, don't sneak dessert/food and risk choking when your ass gets caught!

  For as long as I have been alive, and for many, many, many years before that (well, before seatbelts became the law) there was such a thing as the "mom arm." For those of you who have never experienced it being done to you or done it yourself to your child, the mom arm is a child in the front passenger seat, the car has to stop quickly, and the mom's arm automatically stretches out in front of their child to stop them from going forward. (Don't mistake this for the mom arm that can smack all three children sitting in the back seat, simultaneously while never taking her eyes off the road). I will admit, I still do this, to anyone sitting in the front passenger seat. Now a couple of years ago, my mother-in-law, Mr. Hubby and I were at California Adventure and we were going on their only roller coaster, California Screamin. As the roller coaster took off, Mr. Hubby's over the shoulder harness popped up and he yanked it back down, hopefully locking it into place. Once he panicked, I too began to panic and as the first loop came up, I was soooo not thinking and as we started to go upside down, my hand instinctively went over his lap. Like me placing my hand there was going to keep him from falling out of said roller coaster if he had actually started to fall. I still hear about this one to this day. Lesson here is, whether you are in a car or an amusement park ride, make sure your ass is buckled in and good, because that arm isn't going to save you!

  Friends. Throughout the years, I have had MANY friends. I have lived in Kansas, South Carolina, Florida, Alabama, Pennsylvania, and currently California. Until these past few years, with the help of Facebook, I can honestly say that I never kept any friends from these area once I moved. But while there, I made friends easily and a nice group of them from each area. (except Florida, I wasn't there long enough). I got pregnant in high school, dropped out, and got my GED right away. So when I left the area, I left my friends and family, never looking back. Now thanks to social media, I am able to add old friends and keep in contact with those I want to. Except for my school friends, I have found that most of the people from my past, well, they weren't really good people for me to be around. My life was always full of drinking, partying, and a lot of drama. It's no wonder that I was miserable, as those around me were making me that way and I was letting them. Now, I have friends that I respected and liked from school/my past/my present, and I don't deal with all that drama anymore. I have even grown enough to remain friends with two of my exes, hell, one of them is one of my best friends. It's not a large group, and I really like that, It's not about who is popular, who is sleeping with who, who is doing what...it's just regular conversation about our lives and how they have changed. Lesson here is, it's not the quantity, but the quality of friends that you have. Don't let others drag you down. If they feel like they are unhealthy for you, then that feeling is probably correct, let them go.

  My family...I don't have a lot of family. I have my 4 kids, a brother and sister, 2 nephews, 3 nieces, 3 aunts and uncles, my mom (who is my grandmother), 4 grandchildren, 10 cousins (not even sure how many kids they have as we don't really keep in contact) and even 2 great-nieces and a great-nephew. I think that's it. We are not a close family. I am closest with my brother, sister, and their kids. And more recently, my mom. My mom is dying of stage 4 colon cancer which has metastasized throughout her whole body. They have given her 6 months to live, although now that the chemo that they over did on her is gone, she sounds like she is doing incredible and is determined to be here until next Thanksgiving at least. So fingers crossed for that. I recently reached out for my biological mother, but she insisted she has no kids and has no idea who we are. (Yeah, that's a whole other story.) Anyways, our family has never really been close. People disowning people, family fighting with other family, backstabbing, you get the gist. But now that we know that my mom is inevitably going to pass away, people have seemed to put their bickers on the back burner, for the most part. I've been calling my mom on a pretty regular basis, I sent her peanut butter balls for Christmas because she hasn't had them in years, since she last made candy herself. And she loved them. And a couple of those phone calls have been talks that we had never had until we found out about her health. And it makes me sad that we didn't talk about and resolve this stuff years ago where there could've been a closer, much healthier relationship. I take about 75% of the blame for this, I was a difficult child, a wild teen, a out of control in my 20's, moved far away in my early 30's and finally mid 30's got my life somewhat straightened out and now 44, here I am, being all adulty and stuff. Same goes with my children, I had relationships with them when they were young, and then my stupidity, sometimes selfishness, and a relationship that totally screwed me up along with my relationship with them is finally getting back on track. I am trying. So yeah, this is my half sad/half happy family story. The Lesson here is, don't wait years and years to talk to family. Life is too short, and once they are gone, you don't get that chance back. I missed out on the last few years of my dad's life, and there is so much I wanted to say to him and never got the chance until the day that he actually died. You never know how much time you or your loved ones have. Make the most of it.

  That's all the advice I have for now. I am running off of one hours sleep and this has taken me forever to write and finish (painkillers = me being sidetracked easily). I just realized going through my posts, that when I re-purchased my domain for the year, it deleted all my comments and followers, except for a comment here and there. That really bites google! All my stats have been started over as well so this is kind of like a new blog all over again. That too makes me sad. Anyways, Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to all of you! I hope your day is filled with love, laughter and many memories!