Cosmopolitan Makes Me Laugh

I just caught up on all my back issues of Cosmopolitan. I admit, I have a few magazines I get that I love to read through. I love the fashion in them even though I am not built to wear any of the clothing they show. As a forty year old housewife, I will never be a size small enough for what they put in those magazines, no matter how much weight I lose. Face it, after a certain age, your body never loses weight where you want it to. I started walking on a pretty regular basis in hopes of losing some of my stomach and where does the weight come off first? My boobs of course. Makes perfect sense to me. (insert eye roll) Anyways, I was reading the Dec 2011 issue of Cosmo and came across "100 Best Sex Tips of the Year" and I was all excited, thinking I was going to learn something new possibly. Not so much. I laughed through most of these and thought I would share a few of my favorites and why they could never apply to me...

Shit Mr. Hubby Says

  I used to hate summertime. I don't like being overly hot. On the same note, I hate winter as well because I hate being cold more than I hate being hot. I need to find a place to live where it is fall and spring all year round. (If anyone knows of this ideal location, let a girl know. This summer has been different for me though. In June, I started walking here and there to get myself out of the house. As July rolled around, I started going a bit farther for longer stretches. Come this month, I have walked 15 miles total the past week straight. That's right, a week straight. I might be a little addicted, possibly. I wait until just before the sun goes down before I go out, and I always take one, if not both, of the dogs with me. I have a pug and a chihuahua and I have to decide how far I am going to walk so I know which dog I am taking. My pug is a little on the heavy side and because she can only do about a mile, if I go farther than that, she stays home.
    For a couple of weeks, Mr. Hubby tried walking too but because of his injury, the pain it caused, and his lawyers recommendation, he had to stop. I feel bad because it was at least getting him out of the house and helping to lose the weight he needs to lose in order to have his knee surgery.I genuinely feel bad for him.
    On the upside, Mr. Hubby has lots to say in his downtime. And as you all know, I never know what is going to come out of his mouth at any given time...

So I thought I would do another random meme to kill some time. I love doing these as it takes nothing to answer some questions lol... 

2 a.m. Randomness

I am woman, I am invincible, and man, I am tired....and I can't sleep. Go figure. Mr. Husband has been sick and he can be rather loud while sleeping right now. Between that and my head, I haven't a good nights sleep since, well, I can't remember. Some nights, I hate being a woman. We go to bed, and no matter how tired we are, our head kicks into overtime and I will lay there for hours thinking about nothing that is really so important that I should be losing sleep over it. I know I'm not alone in this one. Mr. Husband can just lay down, and be asleep within minutes, must be nice. I will admit, I am jealous. And more often than not, I would just love to do something loud and annoying just so I am not the only one awake.